Toph Speaks

It’s Diabla’s favorite holiday. Why? Well, I buy her a shitload of lingerie, because I created a holiday called Thanksgerie. As soon as we’re done with the turkey, we get to sexin’ in her new outfits. (As long as it’s after the Cowboys game.)
It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved. I get delicious turkey. She [...]

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Snapinin’ my slutty friends. I’m here again this year to bring you the sluttiest pre and post Halloween costumes. I gotta be honest, I don’t even know how to handle this post this year.
I mean, Halloween is just out of control at this point. Basically, wear stockings, heels, panties, a bra and something on your [...]

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OK, I am finally 75% caught up at work. So, it’s time to sit down and tell you guys a story. A story about a guy with a dream. A dream to own Vegas for a week. It’s a heroic story. A story of love, faith, trials and tribulations. Wait, actually it doesn’t have any [...]

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So, the other day Ray had an idea, which was to highlight some sexy print ads. I thought that Ray had a brilliant idea, and that’s what I’m here to do. Let’s look at some sexy ads, shall we?!
Obviously, American Apparel has always been known for printing sexy, provocative ads. However, this ad, which appeared [...]

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I’m sure I’ll catch hell for this one, but please try to remember that I’m an LC supporter and think that Whitney and Audrina are just as special as most other skillets out there.
However… I can’t help to feel a little jealous of Heidi. Why can’t this be my life? Why does it seem that [...]

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Is it weird that I am anxious to get my hands on these pills that turn your poo gold? No, of course it’s not weird. For as low as $425 you can turn your steamer from boring brown to exciting gold! (We won’t mention the time my was green, OK.) The Citizen Gold Pills will [...]

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I never thought I would be able to admit this, and for anonymity sake I won’t use their real names, but my friends, who we’ll call the Poppers, pops their collars. I’m not sure how to start telling you this sad tale of epic proportions, so I’ll start at the beginning. Every great story [...]

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Semi-Pro Teaser

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(Toph’s Note: I’ve done a great job of keeping away from Britney, and would like to think this doesn’t count. And done.)
This made me piss my pants… WTF!?!?!

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Here’s a headline I just read from the Dallas Morning News…
Wilson gives Rangers happy ending
If that’s not funny enough… have you seen the Lawsuit on Mike Vick?
My favorite parts are:
- Michael Vick pledged allegiance to Al-Qaeda
- Michael Vick subjected me to microwave testing.
- Michael Vick used drugs in school zones
- Michael Vick is in the [...]

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