Toph Speaks

They say on every great woman is a bikini, which is why we’re bringing you the very first Toph Speaks Swimsuit Edition. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really know anything about bikinis. I can’t tell you where to find the perfect one, or what colors will look best on you. What I know is [...]

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You don’t know Irina Sheik (otherwise known as Irina Shayk)? Truth be told, I don’t really either. What I do know is that she’s a smokin’ hot Russian who’s been in the SI swimsuit issue, and the Victoria’s Secret catalog.
How come the Russian’s I’ve met are all ugly, toad looking people? Where are these hot [...]

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There’s actually a writer here in the Bay Area named Toph One who writes for SF Weekly. But, we’re not talking about him today, are we? No, we’re talking about Maxim failing. How hard is it to pick a top 10 list of ladies that everyone can appreciate? Sorry, I’ll catch you up - Maxim [...]

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Because every day should be Miranda Kerr Day….

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This is why Jesus died for you…

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Actually, the day is pretty bright already…. Here’s to our Skillet of the Year!

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Ok, so technically, this is the second annual Tophie Awards, but last year they weren’t named the Tophies. I have become more creative this year than last year. Was that my ‘07 resolution? Maybe. I really don’t remember what it was. (Click here to check out the ‘06 awards) We’re going to mix it [...]

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Miss me, bitches? Hope you all had a sexual Christmas and you have a safe and sexy New Years 2008. We’ll be back on Wednesday with fresh shyit, new skillets and, of course, our 2007 in review. Word up, homeskillets. Late.

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(Toph’s Note: Tis the season for the last week of blogging for me. My company is closed till after New Years, so TophSpeaks will be closed till after New Years starting on Friday. I know you bitches will miss me. Maybe I’ll check in while I’m showing my parents around SF for their first time [...]

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(Toph’s note: This is all just a reason to post up Heidi Klum.)
OK, I’ve had no problem talking up the ladies of Victoria’s Secret. There is no argument that they’re among the hottest women alive, besides my wife, of course. Maybe not the smartest, but definitely the hottest. I’ve been waiting to pull this [...]

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