Toph Speaks

I could do this all day… Enjoy your weekend, bustas.

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In honor of Mother’s Day, which was yesterday, I’m bringing you some of my favorite hot Moms. Now I know you have some you like better, but as I’ve said before, “fuck you, this is my blog.” I hope you enjoy, and if all goes well this week, I’ll be back with [...]

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Ok, so technically, this is the second annual Tophie Awards, but last year they weren’t named the Tophies. I have become more creative this year than last year. Was that my ‘07 resolution? Maybe. I really don’t remember what it was. (Click here to check out the ‘06 awards) We’re going to mix it [...]

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Jessica Alba is pregnant and it’s not my baby, it’s stupid Cash Warren’s baby.
How are you gonna allow yourself to be impregnated by Cash Fucking Warren? Cash Warren?!?! We’re talking about Cash Warren?!? Cash Warren?!?! What are we talking about? Cash Warren?! We ain’t talking about David Beckham. We’re talking about Cash Warren. Not Brad [...]

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Every year, whether it’s football, baseball or football 2, you have award winners. You have everything from MVP and Rookie of the Year to Comeback player of the Year and Executive of the Year. Well, we (me) here at Toph Speaks are no different. A rousing conversation in the comments section of Skillet of [...]

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Of course it ain’t so, it was reported by L.A. Rag Mag, which isn’t a mag at all. Anyhow, in ridiculous news, L.A. Rag Mag is “reporting” that Jeets gave Jessica Alba herpes. Now, I’m not saying that this isn’t something that couldn’t (or hasn’t) happen to say, A-Rod, Tex, Manny, Ortiz, or Barry, but [...]

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OK, this is pretty much a no brainier, right? WRONG! I am actually pretty pissed off at Ms. Alba. Lately she’s been going every where she can, looking amazing, telling people how ugly she is. How stupid. Recently, she was on Conan with the ugly talk. She also had an amazing quote with Britain’s Daily [...]

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I thought I might blog a bit about nothing at all. I don’t care if you don’t care. I am sex, and you’ll just have to deal with it.
I have managed to piss off a bunch of pre-teens, which is pretty funny. Apparently, there is another Toph running around getting pre-teens panties in a bunch. [...]

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Good day lovers, and how sexy do we look today? Every morning before I go to work I ask myself one question, “Would I do myself?” If the answer is yes, then I go on my way. If the answer is no, then I fix it. You can’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself [...]

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I have so much to complain, praise, and yell about I’ve decided to just wrap it all into one. Okay, so there is nothing to praise. How’s that for sex?
As far as the greatest pictures I have ever seen in my life goes, I have to give it up to The Bastardly for posting these [...]

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