Toph Speaks

yes… i am this sexual…

Toph Speaks header image 4

Entries Tagged as 'Ask Toph'

Ask Toph XXII… Part II - All About Love

December 11th, 2008 · 2 Comments

So, we’re continuing the last Ask Toph, and I’m tackling all of the emails I get about love, ladies and hitting on them.
I once said that I was like Angels in the Outfield. I get you to the World Series, but you have to play the game. See? (I Wish They All Could Be Myspace [...]

[Read more →]

Tags: Ask Toph · Church of Toph · Comedy · Dating Advice · Funny · Hot Girls · How to be Awesome · Kitchens · Ladies · Life Coach · Self Help · Sex · Sex = Babies · Toph Sex · Women · skillet · skillets · toph · tophspeaks

Ask Toph XXII…

December 5th, 2008 · No Comments

Sappinin’, suckas. I had a flooded inbox of Ask Toph questions on a variety of topics, so I thought I’d reach out to you, the little people, and answer your questions. Oh, and Mike, sorry I missed your email early November. You shouldn’t kill yourself. Life is too awesome. I mean, look at the photo [...]

[Read more →]

Tags: Ask Toph · Semi-Pro Movie · tophspeaks

How to Become a Bar Regular

November 21st, 2008 · 1 Comment

I guess you could say I’ve been very lucky when it has to do with drinking. It seems that I’ve just always known someone working at a bar, owning a bar or someone who has known someone who works at or owns a bar. Unless we’re looking for something new or are out town, expensive [...]

[Read more →]

Tags: Ask Toph · At the Bar · Awesome · California · Church of Toph · How to be Awesome · San Francisco · Sex = Babies · Toph Life · business · tophspeaks

Best of Ask Toph… Dating Edition

September 10th, 2008 · 2 Comments

I was talking to my good friend last night, who will remain nameless, who told me that it’s been so long since he dated that he’s forgotten how. This guy isn’t a loser or anything, he was just in a committed, serious relationship for the past 3 years. That was until she ripped his heart [...]

[Read more →]

Tags: Ask Toph · Comedy · Dating Advice · How to be Awesome · Humor · Ladies · Self Help · Sex · Sex = Babies · Tacos = Jesus · Texas Girls · Toph Life · Toph Sex · Women · Would You? · skillets · toph · tophspeaks

Ask Toph XXI…

April 22nd, 2008 · 13 Comments

So, I was thinking, “Man, this is only Ask Toph 21?” I thought for sure I had written more, but when you think about it 21 is a lot. 21, not only was it my baseball number, but it’s the age of drinking. 21 is also the age when girls bodies start to decline, and [...]

[Read more →]

Tags: Ask Toph · At the Bar · Basketball · California · Church of Toph · Fashion · How to be Awesome · business · tophspeaks

Ask Toph XX…

January 16th, 2008 · 12 Comments

Part of my New Year’s resolution is to step up Ask Toph. Every day my inbox is full of Ask Toph questions, and I fail to constantly answer them. The goal is to come in about once a month and bang these little email hoes. As you know, you can email your questions to Toph@TophSpeaks.com. [...]

[Read more →]

Tags: Apple · Ask Toph · California · Church of Toph · Comedy · Dallas Cowboys · San Francisco · Self Help · Tony Romo · skillet · skillets · toph · tophspeaks

The 2007 Toph Awards…

January 3rd, 2008 · 32 Comments

Ok, so technically, this is the second annual Tophie Awards, but last year they weren’t named the Tophies. I have become more creative this year than last year. Was that my ‘07 resolution? Maybe. I really don’t remember what it was. (Click here to check out the ‘06 awards) We’re going to mix it [...]

[Read more →]

Tags: 2007 in Review · ABC · Alessandra Ambrosio · Allison Stokke · Apple · Apple TV · Asian · Ask Toph · Aussies are taking over · Baseball · Basketball · Britney Spears · California · Cash Fucking Warren · Celebrities · Celebs · Chuck · Church of Toph · Comedy · Dallas Cowboys · David Beckham · Derek Jeter · Disney · Entertainment · Fashion · Gossip Girl · Hayden Panettiere · Hot Athletes · Humor · Hyori · Jarah Mariano · Jeets · Jessica Alba · La Diabla · Ladies · Laura Vandervoort · Lee Hyori · Leighton Meester · Lingerie · Mavericks · Megan Fox · Minka Kelly · Miranda Kerr · Missy Gibson · Movies · NBA · NBC · NFL · New York · New York Yankees · Pushing Daisies · San Francisco · Sasha Cohen · Skillet of the Year · Skirts · Sophia Bush · Stacy Keibler · Style · Supergirl · Technology · Television · Texas · The Tophies · Tony Romo · Toph Life · Women · Yankees · iPhone · skillets · toph · tophspeaks

Ask Toph XIX…

December 6th, 2007 · 5 Comments

I figured, maybe, I should kind of give the new readers a bit of history into Ask Toph. I guess you could say Ask Toph is what put this little site on the map. If there’s one thing I’ve always been good at, besides making sweet, sweet love, it’s helping people with their problems. Whether [...]

[Read more →]

Tags: Ask Toph · California · Church of Toph · Comedy · Crazy Ass · Entertainment · Jeets · Kitchens · Ladies · Self Help · Sex · Style · skillet · skillets · toph · tophspeaks

Dude… What Happened?!

November 29th, 2007 · 3 Comments

Granted, I haven’t had to pick up a chick in some time, but when it was a daily requirement, I was freaking amazing. I was like the Patriots of dating. Yeah, maybe you were jealous with my flawless record, maybe you hated how I always came through in the clutch and maybe you hated [...]

[Read more →]

Tags: Ask Toph · Bored Stories · California · Celebrities · Church of Toph · Classic · Funny · Humor · Jeets · Kitchens · Ladies · Self Help · Steve Kerr · Toph Life · Toph Sex · Women · skillet · skillets · toph · tophspeaks

Toph Life… Holiday Gift Guide 2007

November 27th, 2007 · 25 Comments

As promised by me, here is my first annual Holiday Gift Guide for this Christmas 2007. I’ll break it into a few categories and give you the details on these must-haves for the holiday season. One love, homeskillets.
No Brainer Must-Haves
Nintendo Wii - I got mine last month or so, and I hate to admit [...]

[Read more →]

Tags: Ask Toph · BR Monogram · California · Celebrities · Celebs · Church of Toph · Classic · Disney · Fashion · Gift Guide · Holiday · Holiday Gift Guide 2007 · Humor · Nintendo Wii · Rachel Bilson · Skirts · Style · Toph Life · Women · business · iPod Nano · skillets · tophspeaks