Toph Speaks

They say on every great woman is a bikini, which is why we’re bringing you the very first Toph Speaks Swimsuit Edition. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really know anything about bikinis. I can’t tell you where to find the perfect one, or what colors will look best on you. What I know is [...]

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There’s actually a writer here in the Bay Area named Toph One who writes for SF Weekly. But, we’re not talking about him today, are we? No, we’re talking about Maxim failing. How hard is it to pick a top 10 list of ladies that everyone can appreciate? Sorry, I’ll catch you up - Maxim [...]

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In honor of Mother’s Day, which was yesterday, I’m bringing you some of my favorite hot Moms. Now I know you have some you like better, but as I’ve said before, “fuck you, this is my blog.” I hope you enjoy, and if all goes well this week, I’ll be back with [...]

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This is why Jesus died for you…

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(Toph’s note: I know I’m getting in on this late, but I still refuse to believe it.)
I’m tired of pregnancy bringing down my favorite ladies. First, Jessica Alba, then Jamie Lynn Spears Hallie Berry, and now Alessandra Ambrosio. Well, Ale is still not confirmed, but according to Page Six, it’s true. Ugh, I hate when [...]

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Ok, so technically, this is the second annual Tophie Awards, but last year they weren’t named the Tophies. I have become more creative this year than last year. Was that my ‘07 resolution? Maybe. I really don’t remember what it was. (Click here to check out the ‘06 awards) We’re going to mix it [...]

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One of the most important aspects for getting the sex is the way you smell. It’s very important that you incorporate the appropriate smells into your lifestyle, or you’ll find yourself alone and stinky.
There are 3 important aspects to cologne that you should be aware of before you buy. You must know how to buy, [...]

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(Toph’s note: This is all just a reason to post up Heidi Klum.)
OK, I’ve had no problem talking up the ladies of Victoria’s Secret. There is no argument that they’re among the hottest women alive, besides my wife, of course. Maybe not the smartest, but definitely the hottest. I’ve been waiting to pull this [...]

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I’m sure you’re saying to yourself, “Thanksgiving Lingerie? What the crap are you talking about, Toph?” And you know what? I don’t blame you for asking. Let me tell you what I’m talking, folks. I’m talking about Thanksgiving Lingerie or Thanksgerie, as it is sometimes known. Lingerie and Thanksgiving are two things that have [...]

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Welcome to the 2nd Annual Grading the Halloween Hotties Celebrity Style. As per usual, Halloween Hotties will be graded on a skillet by skillet basis. For the statistical breakdown check out the chart below. Enjoy the Skillets and feel free to add your own thoughts and analysis.
The Rating System
- This [...]

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