I guess it’s been a well over a year ago now, huh? Oh, you don’t know what I’m talking about. Well, let’s start at the beginning, then.
About a year ago I was writing an AskToph, and going through the AskToph mailbag, when I saw an email that inspired me. The subject “Teach Me.” I opened it, and read what was inside. I’ll paste that email here.
Toph. Hi. You don’t know me, but I’ve been following your blog for a long time now. I am in high school, and am graduating soon. I have been accepted to college and I think I’m going to major in communications, since it’s easy and girls always major in that. Here’s why I’m writing. I’ve had minimal success with girls. It’s not because I’m ugly, I just have no game. I get nervous, and I don’t know what to say. I’ve read your blog diligently, it’s like another class for me, and the success I have had is due to your wisdom. So, my question is will you teach me more? You don’t have to, and I’m sure I’ll figure it out on my own, but it’d be awesome if you did. This is gay, I know, but I think you’ll do it. Why? Because if I’ve learned anything about you it’s this. You’re arrogant. You’re now married. And, the chance to get some kid laid would be awesome. So, will you do it?
Making it happen since ’92.
-D.
I almost started crying when I read this. I didn’t respond immediately, because he’s right, it’s gay. But, I couldn’t help but to want help this kid out. After all, look at what I’ve done for Christian in such a short period of time. The chance to mold a young mind into greatest was just too good to pass up. So… I responded.
D., Challenge accepted… Your first assignment begins tonight. First, there are a few rules that you must accept.
1. You will report to me every Monday and Thursday via email.
2. You promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. If you succeed, I will know. If you fail, I will know. I am your diary, and you’ll tell me everything.
3. You never reveal anything more to be about you other than D., and every girl’s name and every piece of info about you will be changed. And, no one, including me will know your identity.
4. All of this will end up on TophSpeaks.
If you agree, then tonight’s mission is simple. Go out tonight, and hit on one chick. That’s it. Report back to me about the events by Monday, and we’ll go from there. One more thing, D, you have 2 weeks to get a fake I.D. Otherwise, it’s going to get really boring, really quickly.
Did D. accept? Of course he did. So, get ready to start meeting my young padawan, D. Over this past year he’s taught me more than I could ever teach him (hahaha…). I have still yet to meet him, see a photo of him and I don’t know anything about him other than he rules. The kid does everything and anything. He changes the name of his school, and he makes up all the details. I will share our emails, his reports and his homework assignments. Of course, this is an ongoing project, and is still happening now. Before I shared his life with all of you I had to make sure this was legit, and actually get my blog back.
It’s time to get excited…
(By the title, I bet you thought I was going to talk about my penis, huh?)
