Welcome to everyone’s favorite annual blog – Grading the Halloween Hotties – where I break down the sexiest and worst ladies costume’s of the past Halloween. This year it seemed the recession caused some ladies to put clothes on, rather than take them off. Guess when you’re looking for a job you can’t risk a potential employer finding you naked. Makes sense to me, I guess.
As always, here’s our rating system.
– Halloween Royalty.
– Trick or Treat? Either way we still win!
– You put in the effort, and that counts.
- What?! Go home… no candy for you. You’ve had enough.
– - Dude, it’s ok! There’s a nurse right behind you… Speaking of… hello, nurse.
– – I really wanted to give these ladies more, but I can’t do it. Maybe if the chick in the blue wasn’t making cracka girl dance face…
– - Sailors seemed to be a big theme this year. I see some other big themes. Get it? Of course you do, perve.
– – Not that I really know what she’s trying to be, or care, I’m just happy she’s at the party. Congrats to you, lady.
– - Cupcakes. 2 skillets for originality, but you lost a skillet because no one is going to eat the cupcake on the left. It’s like someone dropped it, or a flavor no one likes. Bubblegum Cupcake. That just sounds gross.
– - I love the black dude behind them. He’s clearly saying, “Daaaaamn,” and it’s clearly because he can’t see the front of these girls.
– - I like the girl in the middle that went as retard-with-an-upskirt. The rest of you are stupid. Why are you partying with your dad, anyways?
– – Well thank God someone decided to show up to the party acting like she gives a shit.
– - The fact that she’s totally coked out of her mind only makes the chick storm trooper costume more awesome.
– – Guh… That’s a good costume, sister.
– - Hahahah… shit cracks me up sometimes. What a mess.
- – Y’all deserve a 2, but there’s not much going this year. Sailors seem to be huge, and chicks on the left seem to be failing in every photo (Scroll to where you can’t see their faces. It’s better). And, stop looking at the camera, douche, no one is taking a photo of you. You’re not even dressed up.
– – YAY!!!!!
– – I feel like that hair thing had to take some effort. What’s the over/under on time she took off the hair? I say it was gone by 9.
– – As soon as I found this photo, I sent it to all of my friends. I don’t think we’re friends anymore. I wasn’t going to post this, but come on, how could I not, right?? Once you finish beating, please continue with the Hotties.
– – Ray and I spent the better part of yesterday trying to figure out if the boobs inspired the costume, or it the costume inspired the boobs. I say they’re stuffed. He prays they’re real(fake-real that is). The other part of the day was spent discussing Major League Baseball mustaches. Good life.
– – Some guys like moms. I don’t. I like grandma’s.
– – I give her all the credit in the world for being a smurf. I give her no credit for her ugly friends.
– – You can’t dress up as Asian if you’re Asian. That’s like a black guy being a basketball player, a white guy being white trash or Christian popping his collar. It’s Halloween. Try harder.
– – Ray summed up the Barracuda French Maid best, “I wouldn’t let her suck my dick. And, that’s really saying something.” Considering the chicks he’d let suck his dick, that really is saying something.
– – It just gets worse for chicks on the left (and I realize they’re actually on the right), but the chick on the right is making up for her lackluster performance. Plus, they match, which is always fun.
– – I think I’ve figure it out. Dudes went as Somali Pirates, right? Then they invaded the sailors? If that’s not what happened, then dudes are idiots.
– – And, Mexican’s can’t go as Mexican, girl on the far left. Let’s talk about how creepy this photo is (as opposed to the rest, right?) – Those bushes are really close to the camera. The dude on the right is like, “wait, he’s doing some creepy shit.” And, it’s in front of a Macy’s. Nothing good happens in front of Macy’s.
– – Wait, have we seen the chick on the left before? Well, she found a hotter friend, and she’s tucking the belly in. Score one for chicks on the left!! (I realize that I’ve made up a retarded theme, and am sticking with it. But, admit it, you’re not reading this shit, or looking at my rankings based on nothing, anyways.)
– Last, but not, well here he is, least – One of the best Jack in the Box Jack’s I’ve seen. This just couldn’t be ignored.
WE HAVE A LATE ENTRY!!!
– I want to shake these guys hands. Genius costume!
Well, I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween, and enjoyed this year’s Grading the Halloween Hotties 2009 as much as I did.
