(Toph’s Note: My tales of marriage will make you hate your boyfriend/fiance/husband and make you wish you were with me. Remember… you are not with me.)
One of the “agreements” between Diabla, my wife, and me is that when she cooks, I do the dishes. She happens to be a wonderful little cook, and she does cook every night. So, it’s a good trade-off. The problem with it is she thinks she’s a professional cook. Now, I’m not saying that she’s not a phenomenal cook, but she’s no Rachael Ray. For some reason, she must to use 4 utensils, a cutting board, 2 skillets (the actual cooking tool, not the sexy ladies), tongs and measuring cups to cook 2 pieces of friggin’ chicken. In what world does this make sense? Add that to the pots used for the side dishes, and the utensils that go along with that. Plus, the cups for water and then the dinner drink. Is it me or do you not need a cup for water, a glass for wine, and then another saucer for hot tea? Can’t we find a way to get rid of one of those? That’s a lot of drinks for one meal isn’t it?
By the time we finish dinner, we do a little relaxing, then we’ll maybe have a dessert. Usually, it’s some sort of sorbet, or something to that effect. But, it’s not like we can just buy individual sorbets, get a spoon and dig in on our own. No, we have to put them in bowls. Not only do we have to put them in bowls, but we have to get chocolate bars and grate chocolate shavings over the top. So, at this point, if you’re scoring from home, we’ve used - 4 utensils (the big eff-off knife, smaller knife, fork, and a spatula for flipping), a cutting board, 4 total skillets, tongs, measuring cups, more utensils (for tossing and whatnot), 3 cups, 2 plates for eating, 2 salad bowls, 2 forks and 2 knives for eating, ice cream scooper, 2 bowls for sorbet, 2 spoons for sorbet, and a cheese grater for the chocolate shavings. Ummm… this is for 2 people. By the time I finish dishes it’s 11 o’clock and I’ve missed Idol.
However, because I don’t have to wake up at 5am for work, have to deal with customers or endure hours of grueling traffic, it’s supposed to be OK? Well, it’s not! A war is brewing in the kitchen… A war I tell you.
8 responses so far ↓
1 gargoyle030 // Apr 10, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Toph - Sounds like your wife and mine are related, because we have the same agreement, and she does the same crazy thing. What the heck is up with needing to dirty every friggin’ dish in the house in order to cook chicken?
2 Toph // Apr 10, 2008 at 1:34 pm
don’t know… but, it sounds like it’s time for a revolt or something. here’s the other thing, that will be talked about eventually… doing the dishes doesn’t mean “doing the dishes…” NO… why would it? it means, washing down the counter tops, cleaning the oven and taking out the trash. what is that? making dinner doesn’t mean having sex to her… so why should she get what she wants, if i don’t get what i want?! VIVA REVOLUTION!!!
3 dotEvan // Apr 10, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Change the agreement: for every skillet she dirties, you get to invite a “skillet” over. That should balance the scale a bit. Or you’ll have a black eye when you come into the office tomorrow.
4 Toph // Apr 10, 2008 at 4:21 pm
black eye… schmack eye… that’s the best idea ever.
5 sally // Apr 13, 2008 at 6:30 am
Now my dinners consist of taking the wrapper off the dinner popping it into a microwave, ping 2 mins later warmed up, consume dinner and throw packaging away. No washing up!!!!
Oh also not to point out something very obvious here Toph but in case you haven’t noticed we have invented the dishwasher in the past decade!!
6 Toph // Apr 13, 2008 at 8:09 am
please tell that to every apartment I’ve lived in in sf. diabla says, “of course we have a dishwasher… it’s you!” I, personally, don’t think she’s funny.
7 Channa // Apr 23, 2008 at 4:37 am
I think I’ve seen a picture of your wife. That being said, it’s gotta be tough to say no :) At any rate, you could try saying that you guys are ‘going green’ and she can’t use as many dishes. This leads to more washing, which leads to more water used repeatedly every night. California has been in a drought for as long as i remember. People don’t seem do know this because they are caught up in this consumerism lifestyle. One doesn’t need bowls for sorbet. Convince her eating out of the carton is more romantic, since you both have to share and sit closer together. Just a thought, but good luck man!
8 Toph // Apr 23, 2008 at 7:13 am
yeah… we actually hate the environment , so that doesn’t help. you know how people say, “you don’t want your kids to be the ones living amongst the mess”? we actually do want them living amongst the mess. it’s an early punishment.
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