Ok, so technically, this is the second annual Tophie Awards, but last year they weren’t named the Tophies. I have become more creative this year than last year. Was that my ‘07 resolution? Maybe. I really don’t remember what it was. (Click here to check out the ‘06 awards) We’re going to mix it up this year, so I hope you enjoy. Ladies and gentleman… The Tophies…
Best Supporting Skillet of the Year - This is for the girl who could make a run next year, but she’s just not a big enough name to be award with Skillet of the Year. And the nominees are… Stacy Keibler, Teresa Moore and Minka Kelly… and the Tophie goes to… Stacy Keibler. As much as I wanted to give the award to Minka Kelly she’s just not ready yet. At the very least, she’s gotta break it off with John Mayer forever.
Best Dude that I Hate to Admit is Awesome - Basically, there are dudes that are awesome, and I’m not scared to admit it. And the nominees are… Tony Romo, David Beckham, Derek Jeter and Josh Duhamel… and the Tophie goes to… David Beckham. Again, as much as I wanted Romo and Jeets to win, I just couldn’t do it with a clear conscience. Beckham owns the world.
Worst Celeb Moment of the Year - Pretty self explanatory… and the nominee is Britney Spears… and the winner is Britney Spears.
Skillet Athlete of the Year - We had some good ones this year, didn’t we? And, the nominees are… Missy Gibson (surfing), Allison Stokke (pole vault), Sasha Cohen (does that make me gay?)… and the Tophie goes to… Allison Stokke. Is there any question who was the hottest female athlete this year?
Worst Performance from a Professional Team - So many let downs this year. And the nominees are… The Dallas Mavericks (for the shit they put on the court against the Warriors in the ‘07 NBA playoffs), The New York Yankees (getting completely dismantled in the 1st round of the ‘07 MLB playoffs) and the Dallas Cowboys (Romo’s fumbled snap to lose in the 1st round of the ‘06 - ‘07 NFL playoffs)… and the Tophie goes to… They’re all fucking losers! Ugh, I hate my damn life.
Breakout Skillet of the Year - The girl that came out of nowhere to make it happen this year. And the nominees are… Megan Fox (Transformers), Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl), Laura Vandervoort (Smallville). And the Tophie goes to… Megan Fox. Did anyone burst on the scene like she did this year?
Best Gadget of the Year - No question, the Tophie goes to… the iPhone.
Worst Gadget of the Year - Apple TV. Typically, when Apple comes out with something, I pay attention. I couldn’t care less about Apple TV. I think, maybe, it was out a year too soon. Now when I download TV Shows and Movies I feel bad for the writer’s. Thanks, Writer’s Strike of 2007!!
Best New Show of the Year - And the nominees are… Chuck, Gossip Girl and Pushing Daisies. And the Tophie goes to… (can’t believe I’m saying this…) Gossip Girl. I love Chuck, I do, but when it comes down to it, the preppy hotness wins out every time.
Worst New Show of the Year - And the nominees are… Reaper, Cavemen, Carpoolers and Private Practice… and the Tophie goes to… Cavemen. Has there been a more over hyped, awful show in TV? Oh, wait… last years ABC hit Emily’s Reasons Why Not, which was canceled after one show.
Best Fashion Trend on a Lady of the Year - No nominees, just a winner. As stated above, the preppy look is where it’s at. It’s where it has been, but it’s a lot more mainstream now. Thank God for This, This and This.
Worst Trend on a Lady for the Year - The 80’s are back. No, they’re not. Keep these things in the closet where they belong.
18 Year Old Skillet of the Year - No question Hayden Panettiere was the coming of age young hotness of the year. She earned this Tophie.
Asian Skillet of the Year - Again, a category for Ray. And the nominees are, Hyori and Jarah Mariano. And the Tophie goes to… Jarah Mariano. As hot as Hyori is, she doesn’t stand up next to Jarah.
Most Hated A-Hole of the Year - How do these assclowns end up with our ladies?! And the nominees are… John Mazer (Alessandra Ambrosio), Cash Money Warren (Jessica Alba), Nick Jonas (Miley Cyrus), Brian Austin Green (Megan Fox)… and the Tophie goes to… John Mazer. Jessica Alba may be hot, but she is a raging bitch. Ambrosio is just… well… like ambrosia salad. Delicious and sexy.
Worst Skillet of the Year - And the nominees are… Tara Reid, Lindsay Lohan, Bai Ling and Amy Winehouse… and the Toph goes to… Bai Ling. Just gross.
Mail Order Bride of the Year - La Diabla… Yeah… my wife deserves an award. She’s my #1 skillet. She gets a Tophie every night, if you know what I mean…
And now…
The People’s Choice Award for Skillet of the Year - You’ve voted for months, and it finally comes down to this… Your Skillet of the Year is (look to your right, you voted) is Miranda Kerr! She just edges out Alessandra by 5 votes! An unprecedented 496 votes were counted. Thanks to everyone who voted. Here are all the Miranda Kerr Photos and videos you can handle as well as the rest of the top 3.
#2 - Alessandra Ambrosio - 
32 responses so far ↓
1 Msense // Jan 3, 2008 at 5:12 pm
[...] I want to have sex with Toph. [...]
2 Toph // Jan 3, 2008 at 5:15 pm
thanks, Msense.
3 The 2007 Toph Awards… // Jan 3, 2008 at 5:25 pm
[...] The 2007 Toph Awards… [...]
4 Toph // Jan 3, 2008 at 5:36 pm
ummm… ok.
5 The 2007 Toph Awards… // Jan 3, 2008 at 5:37 pm
[...] Thought Criminal | Thoughtcrime does not entail death.. thoughtcrime IS death! wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]
6 Toph // Jan 3, 2008 at 5:39 pm
that doesn’t even make sense.
7 Corey // Jan 3, 2008 at 7:08 pm
You only screwed up once. Amy Winehouse should have won “Worst Skillet of The Year”. That or a Tophie for “Makes Me Want To Gouge My Eyes Out So I Don’t Accidentally See Another Picture of Her While I Impale My Head on a Railroad Spike to Forget What I Just Saw.” Sex with her (which is the only criteria by which women should be judged) would only encourage me to try and literally drown her in my puke.
8 Toph // Jan 3, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Screw up? I don’t ever screw up. I agree that sex with women is the only way to judge them, but you’re young, so I expect you to make mistakes. Learn from this - Yes, maybe Amy Winehouse isn’t as attractive as Bai Ling. I’ll agree with you there, but sometimes you’re not only screwing for the satisfaction of sex, but you’re screwing to get ahead. (If you don’t believe me, ask any of the guys nominated for Most Hated A-Hole of the Year). When you get down to it, Winehouse has money coming in like mad. How else could she justify walking the streets with coke nose in a bra with no consequences? Plus, her album will continue to sale, and people will continue to go to her concerts. Bai Ling has nothing but some saggy boobies and massive areolas. Plus, Winehouse has only been screwing one guy this whole time. You can catch crabs and all sorts of STD’s just by being in the same room as Bai Ling. Therefore, any forward thinking dude would take one for his own team and hook up with the one who’s more famous. Making Bai Ling… the Worst Skillet of the Year.
9 MVP #41 // Jan 4, 2008 at 9:56 am
Surprising that you didn’t choose Leighton Meester for Breakout Skillet of the Year…
10 Stephanie // Jan 4, 2008 at 10:32 am
Hate to be the party pooper in ‘08, but you don’t screw up? Do I need to remind you again of the debacle that was Avril Lavigne Skillet ‘07? Plus, it should read, her album will continue to sell…not her album will continue to sale. Sorry, but Miranda Kerr as Skillet of the Year will make us forget that whole little AL incident every time! The Tophies was great!
11 Toph // Jan 4, 2008 at 10:35 am
thanks… and i wrote all of that on my iphone… best gadget of the year.
12 Toph // Jan 4, 2008 at 10:38 am
oh… mvp… as much as i wanted to chose her, some of it has to be non-biased. ask any dude who leighton meester is, and maybe a quarter would know once you told them she’s on gossip girl. ask them about megan fox, and they won’t shut up.
13 Jeets // Jan 4, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Consider our love affai….errr, friendship OVER.
Beckham?
Seriously?
What’s that guy have that I don’t?
Cologne? Nope-I’ve got one of those.
Championship Rings? Nope-Got plenty.
A sweet, sweet fade haircut? Nope-I’m actually the one that has that.
Has gone to at least second base with 97 percent of the female population (with the other 3 percent being lesbian and I’m working on them)? Nope-done that too.
So, really the only thing Beckham has that I don’t is Posh Spice. And don’t even tell me you don’t think I haven’t tapped that shit (yes, that was a triple negative if you’re keeping track).
By the way, how did Beckham’s conversion to the U.S. go? Everyone’s paying attention to MLS now, right? He revolutionized soccer in the states?
What’s that? He didn’t? Not even close? He didn’t even really play a full game? Because of a knee or ankle or vaginal injury or some shit?
Yeah, thought so. If MLS has hired Derek Jeter to play, people would be creaming soccer right now.
So, go ahead and give Beckham a Tophie. See if I care. I’ll be busy being the best shortstop in the world for like the 98th time, staying single so I can bag ten times as much tail, and putting habaneros in that dickhead ARod’s jockstrap.
Don’t even bother calling, Toph. I’m sure you’re too busy beating to a picture of David Blehhhhhhhckam.
(P.S. I’ll call you tonight…we’ll chill. Invite Beckham and Posh if they’re around.)
14 Christian (channeling the state of Connecticut) // Jan 4, 2008 at 10:19 pm
You’re such a contradictory bastard.
First, you make fun of popped collars.
And then you go and say being preppy is cool and give it a Tophie.
You know what I say? Horseshit.
Can’t have an orange without the seeds, comprende?
(Actually you can, through the modern marvel of genetic engineering, but that’s beside the point)
Speaking as one who owns about 19 pairs of boatshoes, I say it’s crap that you think you’re preppy and that it’s cool but you don’t pop the collar.
Go big or go home.
And keep your neck from getting sunburned by popping your collar while you’re at it.
15 Sally // Jan 5, 2008 at 8:51 am
Hmmmmm Beckhammm phwoarrrrr
16 Toph // Jan 5, 2008 at 11:59 am
sally - totally agree… what?
17 Toph // Jan 5, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Jeets… before I explain my actions… why don’t you explain THIS
18 Toph // Jan 5, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Christian - That was for Best Fashion Trend on a Lady of the Year. On a lady, not on a dude. Plus, I never said the lady could pop her collar.
However, the lady can wear her skirts, her button up shirt with a sweater over it, a headband and stockings to her knee. Granted… the skirt and stockings are what makes everything Holy.
I respect you.
19 Jeets // Jan 5, 2008 at 11:08 pm
Ummm…uhhh…errrr….
OK, FINE!
So Becks and I did it once!
So what?!?!
Stupid, sexy David Beckham….
20 Christian // Jan 5, 2008 at 11:09 pm
The respect is mutual.
My collar is officially unpopped (except when I’m at home).
21 Romi // Jan 6, 2008 at 9:17 am
Yay, I love awards shows! :-)
Umm…David Beckham…ya, I’d bang that…
Bai Ling…I didn’t know who you were talking about, but then I saw her picture…yuck…
….and yo, did I read that right? Brian Austin Green a.k.a. “David Silver” is going out with Megan Fox?? NO WAY…..
Happy New Year :-)
22 Toph // Jan 6, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Yep… BAG and Fox have been together for a while. Pretty sure she’s got his name tattooed on her somewhere.
23 King Steve // Jan 6, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Best awards EVER!
And Megan Fox is HOT.
24 Ali // Jan 7, 2008 at 12:40 am
You know if you hadn’t of left Texas behind you could have had a category for 17 year old skillets - totally legal in Texas.
Driving back to FW today I saw a Skillets - Fine Eating Restaurant and thought of you.
Hope you & the wife had a wonderful first Christmas/New Years as a married couple :)
25 Toph // Jan 7, 2008 at 8:59 am
king - couldn’t agree more… this is the best awards ever, and megan fox is… well… a fox.
ali - the day you stopped being 17 was the day 17 stopped being hot.
26 Dad // Jan 7, 2008 at 3:30 pm
All I would have changed is I would have voted you for man of the year.
27 Toph // Jan 7, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Dad… you’re creepy… but i like you.
28 panettiere closet // Jan 23, 2008 at 5:30 pm
[...] The 2007 Toph Awards?? [...]
29 Stacy Keibler » Blog Archive » The 2007 Toph Awards… // Jan 29, 2008 at 10:55 pm
[...] Toph wrote an interesting post today on The 2007 Toph Awardsâ
30 Miranda Kerr to Brighten the Day… // Feb 7, 2008 at 11:55 am
[...] Actually, the day is pretty bright already…. Here’s to our Skillet of the Year! [...]
31 Sweet Stokke! // Mar 6, 2008 at 11:42 am
[...] out of town. Regardless, Allison Stokke is back with vengeance. As you know, (from here, here and here) we here at TophSpeaks are huge Stokke fans. Why? Because we like to see female athletes succeed on [...]
32 Miranda Kerr & The New Skillet of the Year // Dec 17, 2008 at 2:50 pm
[...] (For a look at last years awards… Please click… HERE) [...]
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