Toph Speaks

I have a confession to make:  I work out at Crunch gym 4 times a week. You can find me there Monday - Thursday between the hours of 6 and 8. I started working out at Crunch as a way to lose some weight before my nuptials and I have no intention of stopping now. Sure, most of that has to do with the fact that since I have started working out I have only lost 12 lbs, but it also has to do with the fact that the ladies of Crunch should have their own calender (Diabla included). I’m not recommending you join a gym to pick up chicks, but if you’re going to do, then I recommend the Crunch Alhambra. As I said, I started working out there in January, and since then I managed to convince Christian and his lady, Dan, to join me. It wasn’t hard, actually. He walked in, saw the skillets and signed up. The place is pretty sweet, because it used to be an old theatre that was converted to a gym. They have low lights and will either play a movie, Monday Night Football or an NBA game on the massive theatre screen. As you know, I can’t do much without being stylish and the gym is no exception. I’ll give you a few ways to hit the gym and look good, too. Most gyms have hot ladies and you’re going to need to impress them if you want a chance. Just know that most chicks don’t go to the gym to get picked up by dudes. Also, most girls don’t want a meat-head, so your scrawny ass will do just fine chillin’ up on the treadmill. Always when picking up women, don’t try too hard. Let it happen naturally.

To me, the most important part of working out is before you leave your house. I’ll be honest here, I have a tendency to break out when I workout. The sweat combined with the dirt on my face from the day is not a winning combination. My friends at Kineda gave me a tip a while back to wash my face before going to workout. This way you’ll sweat cleanly and you won’t clog your pours with dirt. I use an oil-free wash, so that I don’t strip my face of the natural oils and have it become dried out. Now, before I go to the gym I use Diabla’s face wash, because it’s not as harsh as mine. She uses the Aveeno Positively Radiant Face Cleanser. Feel free to make fun of me, but I feel pretty friggin’ radiant after I use it.

As you guys know, I kind of whore out to certain brands pretty hard (Banana, Ralph Lauren, Lacoste, etc), and Nike is one of those brands. While working out, I typically just throw on some Nike Dryfit shorts or some sweats Dirk-style. What is Dirk-style? If you’ve ever noticed, when Dirk Nowitzki wears sweat pants he wears them pulled up to his knee. Well, it’s also how I roll. Chicks dig a man in sweat pants.

When it comes to the shirts I wear to the gym, well, that varies. I’m not a serious enough (or fit enough) athlete to wear Dryfit shirts or Under Armor, so I go with a TophSpeaks shirt or a Busted Tees Shirt. You didn’t know about the TophSpeaks shirts?  From my collection I like to throw on a Sup Kitchens or a Skillet shirt (available in ladies, too). From Busted Tees, the Football Soccer shirt is great, Jesus Hates the Yankees is despicable and considering I live in San Francisco - this one gets some pissed off looks.

As far as my shoes are concerned, you guys are all aware of my Nike Toph’s. I’ve never gotten so much out of a shoe in my life. I swear, I will wear these until they just fall apart.

If you’re looking for some accessories, then Nike has everything you’ll need to be awesome. As you guys know, I use my iPhone as my iPod, but there are still so many great iPod accessories to make your running and working out better. The Nike+ is so badass. I’m so hoping someone hooks me up with it for Christmas. I’m not really even sure I’ll be able to wait till then. Nothing completes the look better than a sexy headband. Just for laughs, I love wearing headbands on the treadmill, but then again, I’m married so what do I have to lose?

Now you’re all set for the gym. Go lose some weight, fat guy.