Toph Speaks

Fall might be my favorite time of the year. Personally, I look best in the Fall. It’s not too cold and it’s not too hot, making it the perfect time to wear as many layers as possible. Luckily, living in San Francisco, it’s pretty much Fall year around, meaning I look sexiest living in San Francisco. Why am I married to an illegal?

Since I can’t have all the ladies, due to that damned illegal, I’ll help you look right so you can. Let’s start with the feet and work our way up. I am going to attempt to come in under a $1,000 budget for Fall essentials. I don’t know why, but it sounded like something I should do.

When it comes to man shoes I like a wider shoe than most. I wear pants that are loose, and shoes that are slimmer don’t get me the look I’m going for. I don’t wear rapper pants by any means, but I don’t want a man camel-toe either. So, I tend to look for a looser fit. This is why I tend to go for a wider shoe. I have found that shoes with a more square toe are in line with what I’m going for. I also like lace-ups, so I would start with these Timberland’s from Nordstrom for $99.95. Since I already have a pair like this, and you probably do too, then I recommend breaking down and getting a loafer. I’ve been wanting these Drifter’s, from Steve Madden, for a while now, and haven’t broken down and bought them, yet. They also are only $79.99, so they shouldn’t drain you.

As I’ve said, I tend to wear a slightly looser jean. This helps to not only cover up my chicken legs, but it also does a good job of hiding my beer-belly. Yes, the only time I recommend shopping at Abercrombie is for jeans. I’ve always rolled with a low-rise boot cut jean from there and $79.99 is not too much to ask. Plus, a lot of hot chicks seem to work there, so if you can get passed the loud music, you’re solid. If you’re looking for a slimmer look then go not further than Levi’s. My friend Dirty O makes the super skinny 501’s happen for about $60. I’m not sure how he fits it all in there, but more power to him. As you all know, I’m kind of a whore for Banana Republic and I don’t think there’s a better place to buy dress pants (or anything else for that matter). This Fall I’ll be wearing a lot of gray and brown, and Banana pretty much caters to it. I really like these brown pinstripes, which are an online exclusive, for $68.00. For a more relaxed pair of chinos, then go to J. Crew. I’m a fan these bootcut chinos for $64.50. I have them in navy blue, and they’re pretty damn comfortable. Get them. I never recommend lighter pants. They are not good for strip clubs, one night stands or peeing while you’re drunk. Heed the warning.

This Fall is really about layers and Rugby by Ralph Lauren is making sure you understand that point. My friend, Beau, insists he hates the whole concept of Rugby, but inside he loves it deeply. Something about how he’s Australian and hates that Ralph Lauren has stolen Rugby, but doesn’t mind they stole Polo. I don’t know. In case you haven’t noticed, the trends have been very preppy and classic. Kind of like an Ivy League mentality. Luckily, for some of us, we didn’t have to change our look at all. You’re going to want to start with a basic collared shirt. At this point you should probably have the normal white, brown, navy, pink and gray shirts. Toss a sweater over it, and maybe a tie under it. This past weekend, as I was watching the beloved ‘Boys get their asses handed to them by the stupid Pats, Diabla brought back a few things for me while out shopping. All of them perfect for what we’re going for. She bought me a v-neck checkered sweater from Ben Sherman for $79.00, a shawl-collar sweater for $98.00, a 5-button cardigan for $78.00 and to top it off a new blazer for $295.00 from Banana. Unfortunately, this trip was funded by me.

For some reason, vests are becoming a big deal. Now, most of you know that I sport sweater vests like no tomorrow, but I can’t get behind dress vests. If you can, then I believe in you.

So, how much have we spent today? Well, assuming you bought everything I mentioned, then we’ve spent $1,002.43. Actually, that’s not bad since I totaled everything up. Naturally, you probably won’t buy everything, right?

Since the girls are wondering, “if Diabla bought that for you, then what did she buy for herself?” Well…

From Ben Sherman - A button sweater vest for $89.00, miniskirt for $69.00 and some red heels which aren’t on the site.

From Banana - Long Military Coat for $228.00, as well as a few blouses.

And a few more blouses from BCBG and Ralph Lauren. She’s wearing a lot of skirts paired with colored heels, stockings and designed hoes. She’s really rolling in the layers as well, and “stealing from the boys.” I think she’s doing a lot of button up shirts, sweaters or vests, blazers, short skirts, multi-designed hoes with red heels or colored heels. I don’t know… I think she looks hot though, so you should probably do it, too.