Toph Speaks

I do. I miss you every day. I want you to know that. I think about you every single day. Listen, it’s not my fault I quit you. It really isn’t. I didn’t mean to put you down. I thought I was doing myself a favor by putting on that patch. I had no idea it would have that affect on me. I was protecting myself against dry socket. I know, that sounds like the thing I gave that chick in ‘02, but it’s not. I had to get wisdom teeth out. I’m sure you had a lot to do with it.

Listen, I have dreams about you. It’s a beautiful day here in SF and I’m walking the streets of the Marina. It’s all these chicks and I around the Jamba Juice on Union Street and Buchanan, you know which one I’m talking about. So many cuties walk by there every day. A friend once told me, “Toph, stand out there for 2 hours and every hot girl in the city will walk by.” He was right, too. I digress. The song, Midnight by the Bay, by the Red House Painters is playing in the background, which is such a fun song to bob your head back and forth to while smoking and checking out sexuals. The sexuals are walking up and down the street puffing away. It looks like a damn Kool ad out there. I wake up from the wonderful dream and I reach out for you. Only, you’re not there. You’re not there…

Man, I was so cool when I smoked, too. I made smoking look so good. My favorite was when it would dip below 50 outside. The weather was so crisp. Smoking is so good in the cold. The cold is perfect for pointy nipples and cigarettes. Anyhow, I’m wearing all these layers of sweaters and coats, and out pops my sexy hand with a sweet cigarette on the end. The way smoking warms my insides was like a log in a fireplace; only it was a lot sexier. I’d make that sexy cigarette face, too. You know the one I’m talking about? The one where it looks like a cross between playing a sweet lick on your Fender Electric Guitar and taking a massive steamer where the nugget is a little too big for the hole. Yeah, that’s the face you like so much.

I loved the reminders you used to give me when it was time to have one you or your friends. I’d start coughing incessantly or wheezing uncontrollably. Man, you gave me sweet relief from all my troubles. In the middle of the night when my veins felt like they were going to get pulled out of my skin, tie themselves to the ceiling fan, and kill me almost instantly because I had not smoked in 4 hours, you were there. I found comfort in you.

Through the good times, like eating, sex, walking, driving, waking up, going to bed, anytime outside, anytime inside, drinking, as soon as my plane landed, and sex you were there. You bonded me with my best friends. You help guide me through stories. You carried me through college, and life.

Through the bad times, like breakups, sex, fighting, drinking, driving, boredom and what ever else was bad.

I just want you to know that I miss you… and I hope we’ll get back together soon. I’ll never be the same without you.

I’ll always love you.

-Toph