Toph Speaks

I want you to know that it’s not your fault Becks hates you, it’s just that he’s really fucking cool. Last night David Beckham finally made his MLS debut. I’m sure you don’t care, and to be honest, I don’t either. But, I think we should, because he might be the last cool, clean athlete. I think that’s why Beckham and everything he’s about should be respected, and watched here in the States. Sure, you have your athletes like Jeter, Tiger, Romo and Smoltz who stand for everything that is great about sports and I don’t want to take anything away from these guys. I am merely suggesting that despite the fact that Becks hates you, you should place the dude up there with those guys. (See how I threw in Romo?) Sports isn’t what it used to be. I think that much is obvious. I’m not even saying it’s the athletes, fault. The pressures of winning and making money are overwhelming. I’m not even saying that anything has changed in the past 40 years. Except the amount of information that we get about the lives of athletes. We know more now than we ever have before. It was only 14 years ago, but the things I knew about players were their batting average, home runs, doubles, triples, steals, ERA, strikeouts, catches, rushing or passing yards, TD’s, shooting percentage, 3 pointers, their hometown, and that they played their asses off every time they stepped on the field. Sure, Pete Rose was betting on baseball, Big Mac was taking performance enhancers, and Jordan was doing God knows what but I was too young to know what it all meant. What I did understand was that Nolan Ryan was the strike-out king, Rickey Henderson was the steals king, Emmitt Smith was god, MJ was invincible, and the Yankees always won. That is what as children we worshiped about the games we still love. Now? Vick is a dog fighter, Bonds is on steroids, Olympics (my favorite thing) is filled with ‘roids, as is cycling. Can we ever truly trust athletes?

This is why I like Beckham, even though he hates me. When he’s playing I don’t wonder what chemist made him so good. I think the same thing when I watch the guys I named above. Sure, Tiger has gotten ridiculously cut, but I don’t think he’s that guy. I respect what these guys do, and I cherish watching them in action.

So far, there has been no scandal with Becks, other being an international symbol of sex, and I can relate to that. Sure, the guy is not at the top of his game anymore, but that is all that’s lacking. Whether you’ll admit it or not, the guy has it all. Posh is hot, and if aliens really do look like that, then I’m ready for War of the Worlds. I’d let them anal probe me till the cows come home.

Oh… why does Becks hate you? Because we will never call it football. The guy plays soccer and he hates us for it.

And be sure to check out David Beckham’s Blog… It will make you hate your life. You are not cool.