Toph Speaks

Editors Note - This interview was taken from a press conference between Toph and the New York Media following Toph’s amazing performance in the bedroom. Time: 10:00 am Eastern Place: Waldorf Astoria Hotel

In House Speaker - Just to clarify, The Toph will be here in a minute. He will talk for a bit, and then you are free to ask questions. Here he comes. Okay, let’s keep this short.

Toph - Good morning everyone. I just wanted to start by saying that I am a little worn out. Last night was tremendous, and took a lot of energy out of me. Let me also say that I was proud of the effort I put in. People say that you get what you put it, and I put in a lot. The heights that I reached last night will hopefully be unparalleled for years to come. As for the girl, she’s resting. Basically, I meet her in a bar while here on business. She was young, but she proved to be a top recruit. She really impressed me with how bendy she was. Her strength also impressed me. She might be the perfect balance between power and grace. She was light on her toes. Honestly, it was pretty much awesome on every level. She kept calling for the balls, and I kept feeding her on the inside. We pounded it up the middle, and gained a lot of yards. The penetration through her line was flawless. I didn’t expect the hole to be that open, but it was easy to slide through and score. Like I said, it was impressive. Questions?

Jeremy Schaap from ESPN - Toph, give us a sense of how you felt after.

Well, Jeremy, I was tired. I had just enough energy to roll over and grab a smoke. Playing under those circumstances is never easy. It takes a lot out of you. We went into a lot of overtimes, and it came to sudden death, and that’s when I got on top and finished her off.

Chuck Cooperstein from 103.3 ESPN Radio - Given your past, how does this measure up?

Well, Coop, it’s not just about the preseason. This didn’t start in the preseason, as I’m sure you know. I have been working on myself since the end of last year. I wanted to make sure I was up to par for a match like this. I trained in front of a mirror to give myself a little extra motivation. I had times when I didn’t think I could finish, but I pressed through them and achieved all of my personal goals.

Peter King from Sports Illustrated - Toph, when did you know you would accomplish something this great?

Well, Peter, I’ve known it since I was a kid. You have set goals for yourself, and see them through 110 percent. At each level you have to succeed, and I feel like I have done that. I take it one lady at a time, one day at time. That’s really all you can do.

Kevin Blackistone from Unemployed but still Awesome - Can you give more detail on the hole you created?

Not really. Like I said, it was wide open. It wasn’t a blood bath, like I expected. I think we did a great job of opening it up and seeing that we hit it perfectly. I was amazed at the class my guys showed. They were sturdy and strong. We tried not to push it to the outside, and luckily the more we pounded it through the middle the softer the G got. Late into the game, it started becoming a little easier.

Mike Turico from ABC Sports - Toph, did you use performance enhancing drugs?

No Comment. Next question.

Toph - Last question guys. I need to sleep.

Woody Paige Denver Post - What about the playoffs?

Playoffs!?! Playoffs!?! Don’t talk about Playoffs. Are you kidding me? Playoffs!? I just hope I can do it again tonight. Listen, what I did out there last night is better than any playoffs. Playoffs!