For the longest time I wondered why Asian girls always gave a peace sign when they were in pictures. This has plagued me since the first time I saw an Asian girl in a picture. I’ll never forget that day. I was sitting at my friend Bea’s house and she showed me this picture of her and her family. I was like, “Bea, that’s a really nice picture and… is that a peace sign?” She agreed with me that is was a nice picture. Then, she confirmed that she was in fact giving a peace sign. She couldn’t figure out why, but we put the photo in a frame anyway. It was a really sweet day. This past weekend I was out in San Francisco doing touristy things, as I don’t really know what else to do in the city having not lived here long and all (I swear if I see Fisherman’s Warf one more time I will kill myself), when I noticed more Asian girls doing more peace signs. One of them was looking squarely at me as she delivered the all important peace sign. I got on my phone and called my son, Little Toph, who I haven’t spoken to since I moved away and left him with his grandfather, Pope Benedict XVI, and asked him if he knew what it meant. Being a 5 or 8 year old or how ever old he is plus being half Asian, I was sure he was experienced in peace sign delievery. He told me it’s the international sign for let’s make sex. I, then, asked him if he had seen his sister, Tophita, and he hadn’t. I hung up the phone and quickly approached this cute Asian girl. “So, you want to make gravy noodles, eh?” I said. She looked at me with this weird expression on her face, then started making out with me. We made love right there on the cable car. People were looking at us, tourist were video taping, and all in all it was a great time. Once finished she slapped me, said something in Chinese, and I left. I told her to 
, and threw a towel at her. It was a mess. The conductor of the cable car was pissed that I took his towel in order for some random chick to . I guess he would have been fine had it of not been some random chick, but that wasn’t the case. I found myself running from the police and had lost the girl forever. I couldn’t help but to think about her special little fingers as I was running through a sea of people with the police chasing me. She was such a nice girl. I’ll never forget those fingers, and I’m certain she’ll be in my heart forever. I got away from the cops, but I’m now wanted for grand theft auto. Yeah, I stole a car. What? So, next time you see a sweet Asian giving you the peace sign. Go and make noodles with her. You’ll thank me later.
